"I’m Teabagging 4 Jesus"
What a great excuse when you’re in bed with a guy. I’ll have to start using it.
Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you;
Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to make sure.
|—||George Carlin (via damn-peasants)|